Adrift......

My life has taken a unexpected detour, this was not planned, and most certainly not wanted.

Due to work I have been forced to move. I'm not loving it so far.

Every friend I've ever had has been ripped out of my life. And I feel quite low. It seems that the people I cared about no longer give a shit about me.

Here we go again......

OOOOOOOOO I'm really happy.....

well OK, this is a lie.
I am currently contemplating the impending argument that I'm expecting with my flatmate.
very shortly i expect her to announce that her new Boyfriend ( of about 3-4 weeks) is going to be spending lots of time in our house.

The last time this happened, her boyfriend at the time ( an Annoying, using little wart of a human being) ended up spending more time in the house than I did. And he didn't pay rent..... what he did do was eat my food, use my Xbox. and just generally use the place as a place to doss while avoiding working.

Don't get me wrong, I have no evidence that this is going to happen again, i just plan on making sure it's not going to.

So bring it on...........

Just call me Mr. Angry........

I have come to the conclusion that I have anger issues.

Stupid,little things that shouldn't bother me,or i should have accepted by now, cause me to explode with rage. And it is i think becoming a problem.

When my pressure value opens i go totally bat-shit crazy.

I know that a lot of the time, My Anger is unwarranted, that I should be more reasonable. But I seem to be totally unable to prevent the outburst.
Don't get me wrong, I have only ever really lost my temper with People 4 times. Most of the time, I'm able to wander off on my own and rage at a wall or another inanimate object until the emotion burns itself out.

Some days, a bell tower and a high power rifle are very appealing.

Answers.....please

How many questions do we really want answers to??

Who killed Kennedy?
Will The electric car ever be viable?
When will the oil run out?
Will racism ever be Stamped out?

The list kinda gets out of control after a while.

But it strikes me that the most important questions for us to ask are the one's that directly effect Us.

The biggest questions I want answered relate to my life. They are the questions that will have an impact if answered.
And what would happen if we got our questions answered.....

Getting an answer to our questions would be great, and could change the world. If we were all happy inside our own heads, would that have an effect on our world.

however, I know the only question I want answered, is never going to be.Not ever because no-one is ever going to be honest enough to answer it.

Oh just bugger off..............

Warning.
Rant alert.


Well I'm expecting to get hauled over the coals for this. At least one of my friends is going to go absolutely mental about this post. Really sorry, but its how I feel and what i have observed over a few years.

If a woman is asked what she wants in a guy, the following points are (usually) listed somewhere in the answer.

Good sense of humour
Good looking,
Honest
Faithful.
Clever
Able to protect them.

This is great. All good traits to have in a partner.

However............

Its a god damn pitiful Sodding LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, i understand that I'm about to make a generalisation;and I apologise in advance, But women make the same one (all men are bastards/scum/evil etc) So now its my turn.

This is going to sound immodest, but quite frankly I don't give a rats ass.

I have been told, that- I'm good looking( don't agree or believe this for a second)
Again, been told that I'm funny. (not sure about this either)

I've never, ever, cheated on a girlfriend- not ever. And if you don't believe this, stop judging me by YOUR standards and bugger off. I'm sick of being compared to other people, that have nothing in common with me.
i am also, too honest for my own good. ( this gets me so many headaches, you would not believe)

And yes, i am clever, Ive passed a Mensa IQ test that placed me in the top 10% of the UK population.

Oh, and 15 years of Martial Arts Training, (Tang Soo Do, Akidio and taekwondo) has made me more than capable of breaking other peoples arms and legs with very little effort.

So, on paper I seem to check most of the boxes of what women look for in a guy.

That does however, assume that the women that answer the question "What do you look for in a guy" are telling the truth.

The reality as I have observed, is as follows.
Women want:

Miserable, moronic, deceitful cheats.

I have in the past, had girls turn me down, for junkies that steal to feed their dirty little habits, guys that hit them or threaten them in some way, or liars that couldn't outwit a carrot.

And then to add insult to injury they expect me to listen and even offer sympathy when the waste of skin that they are dating buggers off with the DVD player,TV and computer( to give to the girl he's been seeing on the side)

Its starting to annoy the hell out me.

So girls, look at the guys you've dated, how many of them were bad boys? and how many of them actually treated you the way you hoped they would. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to get a bunch of roses and not think, "whats he done this time"

Rant over.

I really like you.........But;

OK. parties are supposed to be fun right?
You get dressed up, go out, drink lots of booze and then go home.

Now I'm not against parties at all, I love em. And to be honest, i throw a good one :)
My party punch is legendary.

Last night, It was my work's farewell do. So 90% of the workforce went out and got ready to get our collective freak on.

We all went for a meal ( all you can eat Buffet thing) which was to be honest not bad. Then, we all went into a club.

I drank lots and ate lots. which is always a good thing.
The less good aspect of a party however is the self flagellation when a girl you like declares that she likes you.
But you know, that the girl in question is never, never,never going to be interested in anything other than chatting to you as a friend.

So after being told, that your great, that you make her laugh all the time, she goes home with the biggest scumbag in your office.

So come on girls, don't tell a guy you like him, then go off with the office player.

and especially don't moan about the player to the guy you like.

He really wont thank you for it.

The Grass is greener....Maybe

How many people do you know that want to get away?

You know, the mate that always goes on about moving abroad, moving away etc,etc.

I have a problem with this. Don't get me wrong, I want to live in New York City. But I think we all have a romanticised view of being somewhere else.
Sure, its a great idea and I do know someone that has done it, very successfully i might add.

I just think that most of us really don't think it through.
My flatmate for instance, wants (desperately) to go to Greece to work. She has the idea in her head that it would be great. And I agree with her. to a point.

Since she doesn't speak Greek, her employment options are limited. To be brutal, she's going to end up working in a bar. lets be honest, bar work does not pay well. In fact the money is crap.
To make any kind of living she's going to need two jobs.(she has two jobs now) She says, "I'll spend all day at the beach, then work in the night."

Only if she doesn't plan on eating.

She wants to go to Greece because its a beautiful place,its got great weather. Both I agree totally with.
But if she wants to eat and a place to live, she's gonna need two Jobs so she's not going to see either. The other reason she gives for going to Greece is to stop having two jobs........

Anyone seeing the flaw in the plan yet?

I'm all for living your dreams, we as human beings need , something to shoot for. But if your going to try, at least give yourself a bloody good shot at getting it right.

Right, I'm off to pack for new york, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans should do....right?

Secrets and lies......

We all have them, and we all tell them.

but isn't it interesting that the one is used to defend the other.......

If you have a secret, you WILL tell lies to protect that secret. Its a fact. No matter what the secret it generates a lie. People say that "honesty is the best policy" but how many people are actually honest?
Politicians are supposed to be our representatives, but they lie and cheat to further there own agendas. I read with great interest an article in the news recently, that exposed the expense claims of my local MP's. I thought it was really nice of us to pay for her curtains,and her mortgage,and her Internet connection.........

If you expecting a point to this post reader, I apologise, there isn't one....or maybe i'm telling a lie??

The Joy of not smoking.......

Well first of all i'd like to thank a friend for giving me some very positive feedback regarding this blog....thanks you!!!! (you know who you are :P)

Had a text message from my flat mate today.... she's giving up smoking and asked very nicely if i wouldn't mind smoking outside for a week or so just to make it easier for her.

Being a nice chap, (SUCKER!!!) i said yes.

The major problem is however, is that I see screaming hissy-fits on the horizon. My flatmate is not the most chilled out person in the world, stress is as important in her life as well...air. So couple this with a total stop to her nicotine intake is liable to be a very interesting combination....

I expect, crying, swearing and possibly random objects being thrown my way on a regular basis......

Thinking about finding a nice Crash helmet....Maybe in blue to match my eyes.

It sounds a bit nasty, but i dont think this situation will last long, as I think The lack of nicotine will win out over willpower....

Just wondering when the crazy will break out and try to stab me in the ear with something pointy.

lots going on, none of it that good

Well lets see...
I'm being made redundant....
My flatmate seems to be intent on screwing every loser on the face of the planet.
I'm suffering from a major bout of depression

So in all, i'm having a fun week.
on the upside however, i havent climbed upto the bell tower with a high power rifle (yet.....)

Looming up in the distance.....

Comes my Birthday.....

Eeek!!!
Really not looking forward to my birthday, its starting to get a bit close now.
Birthdays have an unusual effect on me, i get stressed. Uncertain of how much i'm gonna screw up the next year lol

Break over.....birthday bashing about to begin

Well finally posting again,

just really couldnt be bothered at all last few months.

But now i'm back to annoy the only 2 followers this blog has.

Its almost april and that means that its almost my birthday. WooHOO!!! not.

But this year, i'm planning to drink and laugh and drink some more.
last years birthday was ok, but this year gonna be different.

The weekend before my birthday is going to be lost in a booze haze, then the weekend after is gonna be spent in my house with some friends ( drinking, laughing and playing with my ps3)
I am also going to make a total fool of myself for the entertainment of a friend who's feeling a little low :(
SO cue drunken home made music video, to cheer her up :)( and at the same time make her cringe with my singing)

HO flamin HO!!!

Well Christmas is almost upon us....

Now the weird, stupid behaviour starts. Our society seems to go slightly insane around this time of year.

My housemate for instance, for most of the year she's bright,vivacious and great fun( and moody and sometimes really annoying..but we'll let that go ) but at Christmas her insecurities really come out. She's scared stiff of being on her own and compensates for this by doing things she regrets later...... She also becomes the most selfish and self absorbed person I know. Everything turns into something about her.

But as long as it's not unfair or inconveinent for her its ok.

But most people i Know undergo a similar transformation.

Remember people, Christmas is about being happy and spending time with people you care about. Not about the presents you get.
And if you are scared of being alone, you dont need to be, Its more likely that you have many people who care about you, you just dont know it.

you want to buy something? oooo no not on a sunday

Last night, my router went pop!

Internet access is now a fond memory. Now since I'm in work till 5pm its impossible to get another one till tomorrow.
So, I decided to ask a mate to go get one for me.
Said mate, texts me when she's in pcworld- I go for a break run outside and ring her... three attempts to get her to answer the damn phone- she then tells me that she has left pcworld after an argument with one of the sales staff........caused because shes hormonal (ffs!!!!!!!!!!! take a breath before talking to people!!!!!)
so, no router, no Internet access and a slightly annoyed me........

Woo-bloody-Hoo!

The gene pool will be a better place without me in it....

Well, after careful consideration I have decided to stop playing the dating game.

This decision has come after several years of careful observation.. Women are the most illogical, Frustrating and downright bloody annoying creatures on the planet.

I have come to the conclusion that women are just not worth the trouble.....

So all you girls can now relax.....none of you will ever be bothered again.

Standards are REALLY dropping

Well, what a sorry state of affairs......

In my Job we have to leave notes when a customer calls us..

Several of the people who work in my place are out and out chavs, when reading the notes it hits home just how badly educated people are these days....

For instance- the word "Talked" spelt "torked"

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

The Silly season cometh!!!!

Well, its almost Xmas.

Woohooo!!!!!!! The time for spending money we haven't got,eating and drinking to much, attending silly parties and fending off bouts of depression is upon us :D

The pleasure is almost incalculable.
well almost.

Don't get me wrong,i do enjoy Xmas, but there are however certain aspects of it that really do make me want to go on the rampage with some form of automatic weapon.

The endless Xmas carols in shops, the really happy and helpful Xmas staff that seem to populate the shops and stores being two of them........grrrrrrr.

And then, there is the work Xmas party....lol oh boy what an opportunity to embarrass yourself and possibly cause the end of your career. The Xmas party can be really good or REALLY REALLY BAD!

This year, my firms Xmas do is probably gonna go very badly :P
still, it should at least be entertaining.

Happy Birthday- Crappy night........

Well, that's that party over with....

I made it through the Birthday celebration from hell without resorting to Murder.
This surprises me. lol
In general the night was about as I expected. Its amazing how your opinion of someone can manipulate your mood.

I don't get aggressive, but last night.......I came SO close to hitting someone with a chair. I didn't tho.
Kept my mouth shut and tried to have a good time.
Felt mostly ignored for most of the night so i just got drunk and danced like a loony.

I now no longer give a shit.

Now isn't THAT a surprise............

.........to be honest, not in the Fucking slightest.

My instincts are very good, only for spotting bad stuff, but very good.
I can see a shit-storm from 4 or 5 miles.
Its been for the most part a really lousy year, 10 days in new york, being the only really good thing about it. Since this year is very quickly running out, cant see it improving much.

I have a birthday party to go to in about 18hrs, i should be looking forward to it.....but to be honest I'm dreading it.
The person's birthday bash I'm going to, is probably the best friend i have in the world.
But at the moment I'm really angry at that person.

I don't like being angry with people, its just not me. :(
I'm not going into details, but lets just say. Someone is about to do something really stupid.

That I knew was going to happen.........

oh well.......

WTF?.....................Grrrrrrrrrr

Life, its a confusing old thing. The one thing that school does not even attempt to prepare you for is real life.

And other people.

School- you pay no rent and no bills- whoop!!!
Real Life- you pay RENT and BILLS!!!!!- boo,hiss

And other people? don't even get me started about other people.

Problem is, everyone, at some time; is the other person........
Sheesh, I want a manual for life- just a summary would do.
maybe with a diagram??